So Why Do I Do It?

So, why do I do it? This question is a response to my husband's revelation this past weekend that I have the most boring job in the world. I tutor students on writing. I make and revise grammar handouts and writing workshops. I fill out paperwork. I balance tutor schedules. I take classes on teaching. I teach a class on writing. I write. I do more paperwork. I make lesson plans and grade papers. I write papers. I attend countless meetings. I am always tired and there is always more work than time. Did I mention the paperwork? Oh, and I don't get paid very well, either. So, once again, why do I do it?

I have recently been offered, by a friend, a "chance of a lifetime" to "get in on the ground floor" of "an exciting and lucrative opportunity." Looking past all the cliches, for a moment I was intrigued. Even though I quickly recognized the "opportunity" for what it was - a pyramid scheme - I also recognized what intrigued me about my friend's offer in the first place = $. And $ means a better life, right? But did the boats and private jets and tropical vacations and early retirement tempt me? For a moment. Was I really willing to risk the loss of all my free time managing my new "business," possible bankruptcy and litigation to get it? Absolutely not. What about selling a few vitamin supplements door-to-door, like a good little Girl Scout, in what passes for free time? A resounding NO.

I'm sure lots of folks have come across such an "opportunity;" this is not a rare occurrence. I'm faced with such "opportunities" every day of my life. I could have enrolled in medical school rather than pursue a BA of Arts in English and had a much greater salary potential. I could have skipped school altogether and married rich. I could have opened a restaurant. Hell, I could have played the lottery this morning. But I didn't. Is it because I'd rather use that lotto dollar towards a new book that'll just make me poorer and take up more of my time? Or am I afraid of what all these "opportunities" might bring if I fail?

I took a big leap when I quit my job as a bank teller to go after a Masters degree. I might not make it til the end. I might burn out from the ever increasing work load, or worse, I might starve to death. Despite all this, I do not believe for a second that I passed on my "opportunity" for a better life. What that means might be boring to some. But I know that when I come home from work with an armload of student papers to grade and deadlines hanging over my head like a stormcloud and a pitiful paycheck to show for it, I can greet my husband with a smile on my face.